Revealing Conversations
by Chelsee6
Summary: A conversation between five of the graveyard shift CSIs leads to some interesting revelations. Catherine/Sara Nick/Greg. Slash and Femslash; you have been warned. Humour!


This is a repost of a story I alreadyposted over at LiveJournal. Thanks to Sarah for the beta and I hope you enjoy. Also, I apologise in advance for the ending. It just...seemed to fit.

* * *

Revealing Conversations

C: "Do you think Greg's cute?"

N: "What?"

C: "Just purely objectively, is Greg cute?"

N: "I don't know. Catherine, I'm a _guy_."

C: "Oh come on. I'm a girl and I can admit that Sara is hot. She _is_."

N: "Well…yeah, but—"

C: "But what? What is it with guys? Do they think it's a threat to their masculinity to be caught admitting they think another guy is hot?"

N: "Errm…something like that. Probably due more to the fact we don't go around looking at people to determine their hotness."

C: "And women do I suppose?"

N: "Uhh…well you—as in women in _general_—do have a tendency to kinda look at a woman and rate yourself against her, or at least that's what I've noticed."

C: "Ok, I concede that."

N: "And then you seem to have some sort of inbuilt radar that gives guys an automatic sore out of ten."

C: "Also sort of true."

N: "Guys don't do that."

C: "But if you're actually _thinking_ about it you can assess someone's hotness, right?"

N: "I guess."

C: "Go on then. Is Greg hot?"

N: "Uhhmm, what's the criteria for hot?"

C: "You just don't want to commit an answer."

N: "Yeah, pretty much."

C: "Chicken."

N: "Ok, you answer first. Is Sara hot? And if so, why?"

C: "Yes, she's hot. She's hot because she has legs that go on for days. She slim but not too skinny and she obviously works out. Her eyes, they're that really dark chocolate colour. Oh and she also sort of has that tall dark and mysterious vibe about her. And I mean, think about it, you've seen her, she's so focussed and determined and so good at everything she puts her mind to…just think about what she'd be like in bed."

N: "I can't believe you just did that!"

C: "What?"

N: "Objectified a co-worker like that."

C: "You're telling me you've never done that?"

N: "No."

C: "Not even once? I thought guys were genetically programmed to objectify women if only for a moment."

N: "Only the guys you've met."

C: "Thanks."

N: "I didn't mean it like that."

C: "Then what did you mean it like?"

N: "I meant…in Texas boys are brought up to respect women, or at least I was, and guys that do that—I don't get them."

C: "You're more of a girl than you think Nicky."

N: "I am not."

C: "C'mon. I answered, it's your turn. Is Greg hot? And now, cause you made me do it, you have to answer why as well."

N: "What if I just say he's not?"

C: "Then I know you're lying. You're a CSI, you're paid to be observant, and if you can do your job and then turn around and say he's not hot, then you are either fluking at your job cause you're obviously blind, or you're lying."

N: "Fine. He's hot."

C: "Why?"

N: "Stop smirking like that."

C: "I can't help it. You just said Greg was hot."

N: "Cause you made me."

C: "I didn't have a gun to your head; you could have just walked away."

N: "Like that's going to deter you."

C: "Sure it would have. It would tell me you so don't want to have this conversation cause admitting Greg is hot might lead to other complications."

N: "What other complications?"

C: "You tell me."

N: "You're the one insinuating…"

C: "Yes? What am I insinuating?"

N: "I don't know."

C: "Yes you do."

N: "No I don't."

C: "C'mon Nick, what's holding you back?"

N: "…" _Greg is straight_.

C: "I have it on good authority that Greg isn't straight."

N: "…" _He's probably like someone younger, someone who can stand listening to Marylin Manson._

C: "I've also heard there's someone he's interested in that works at the lab."

N: "…" _It's got to be Archie._

C: "It's not Archie, Warrick, or Bobby, or David, or Al, or even Grissom."

N: "…"_ Well it's definitely not me._

C: "It's you."

N: "Where…where would you get that kind of information?"

C: "I'm working in cahoots with someone."

N: "Who?"

C: "Someone who's very close to Greg."

N: "…Sara?"

C: "Who's an observant CSI?"

N: "_Sara_. But you guys hate each other. You're always fighting."

C: "Ok, not such an observant CSI."

N: "Since when were you guys friends?"

C: "Who said anything about friends?"

N: "You mean…?"

C: "Go on Nicky, say it."

N: "I mean…but you…she…_dating_?"

C: "I ask you again, what's holding you back?"

N: "You and _Sara_?"

C: "Yes Nicky. Get over it."

N: "But…you…her…_dating_? How long?"

C: "Two months."

N: "Two _months_? Why didn't you tell me?"

C: "I just did."

N: "So...you're bi?"

C: "Yes."

N: "And she's bi?"

C: "No, she's gay."

N: "But…Grissom?"

C: "Misconstrued hero worship."

N: "We can't have _all_ misconstrued that."

C: "Apparently we did."

N: "She's lying."

C: "No, she's not. For one she wouldn't lie to me, she promised. And two, I've met her friends and her brother and they all say she's been completely gay since her twenty first birthday."

N: "Sara has a brother?"

C: "Yes Nick. Focus; why are you holding back? What have you got to lose?"

N: "Huh?"

C: "Greg. Just hurry up and ask him out already."

N: "…You think he likes me?"

C: "I _know_ he's interested."

N: "How?"

C: "Greg talks to Sara. Sara promised to never lie to me, I asked her about it."

N: "Why'd you ask her? Isn't that kind of mean, asking her to betray a friend's confidence?"

C: "I hinted I thought you were interested first, and then I asked her if she'd mind if I asked her, and she said no. Then I only asked her one direct question; is Greg interested in Nick?"

N: "And he is?"

C: "_Nick_, well established fact already."

N: "So you think I should ask him out?"

C: "That's what this entire conversation has been about, so yes."

N: "No, this conversation was…_hey_, you tricked me."

C: "How so?"

N: "You made me think you were straight and then you went into details about what you thought of Sara. That's cheating."

C: "It worked though."

N: "You objectified your girlfriend."

C: "I'm allowed to. She's my girlfriend."

N: "So…it's like a couply thing?"

C: "Yes Nick. We're a couple."

N: "And it's serious?"

C: "Yes Nick. It's serious."

N: "And you're happy."

C: "Yes. I am."

N: "Is she happy?"

C: "_Nick_."

N: "What?"

C: "Why wouldn't she be happy?"

N: "…I don't know."

C: "She's dating me. She should be happy."

N: "Ok, she's happy. You guys don't fight, do you?"

C: "All couples fight Nick. The only difference is instead of lashing out at each other we get to have really hot make up sex."

N: "So…what you said before, about Sara being good at anything she put her mind to…?"

C: "No."

N: "What?"

C: "I'm not giving you details."

N: "But you were just telling me about the hot make up sex."

W: "Who's having hot make up sex?"

C: "Go away Warrick."

W: "_Catherine_? Oh, what's his name?"

N: "Dude."

W: "What? Do you know something I don't?"

C: "Shut it Nicky."

W: "What, you tell Nick stuff and not me?"

C: "I was trying to get him to pull his head out his ass."

W: "Why's his head up his ass."

N: "Catherine."

W: "What, you tell her stuff you don't tell me?"

N: "She forced it out of me. She tricked me."

C: "All's fair in love and war. And this is both."

W: "Is this about the bet?"

N: "What bet?"

C: "Way to go Warrick."

N: "You guys have a bet?"

W: "Yup. You wouldn't tell me who you were interested in and Catherine bet me she'd be able to figure it out."

N: "You did what?"

W: "Hey, you can't be mad. You made that useless bet about Catherine and Sara."

N: "That was four years ago."

C: "You made a bet about me?"

W: "Yeah, though no ruling has come in yet so we can't tell you what it was. Hey, did you figure out who it was Nick likes?"

C: "I did."

W: "Was she right?"

N: "She was."

W: "So, who is it?"

N: "…"

C: "…"

W: "Oh come on."

S: "What's going on?"

W: "Catherine and Nick are keeping secrets."

S: "Really, is this about that thing?"

W: "You're in on it too?"

S: "Were we right?"

C: "Yeah, we were right."

W: "Sara knows about this too? Man, this is not fair."

N: "Blame Greg, and women's intuition."

W: "Greg knows too?"

N: "Umm."

S: "Oh for crying out loud, you really think Warrick is going to care?"

N: "…"

S: "It's not like he's interested."

N: "_What_?"

S: "That's the only reason I can think of not telling him."

N: "Other than the obvious?"

W: "What obvious? Will someone tell me what's going on!?"

S: "As if that would bother him. You're his friends."

W: "Wait, I know her?"

N: "Which is exactly why you haven't told him about you and…"

W: "Wait, Sara's dating someone? Why does everyone know everything before me?"

S: "Ok, fine. Should we tell him?"

C: "Warrick, Sara and I are dating."

W: "Seriously? Oh man! Hey wait, that means we just got a judgment call on our bet Nicky boy."

N: "Damn it."

S: "What bet is this?"

C: "Is this that one you made four years ago?"

W: "Uhh…yeah. Nick bet you guys would get physically violent, I bet you'd get physical."

S: "You _what_?"

C: "Four years ago? Four _years_?"

N: "It was more off hand than anything; neither of us thought it would actually happen."

W: "Speak for yourself bro."

C: "Well in that case I so don't feel guilty about making this bet."

W: "Technically to win you have to tell me who it is."

N: "No she doesn't. You can just take my word that she's right."

S: "No, actually I think you should tell Warrick."

C: "You should."

N: "…it's Greg."

W: "…am I the only straight person in this room?"

G: "Straight? Huh? What did I miss?"

N: "…"

W: "…"

C: "…"

S: "Just confirmation I was right all along."

G: "You mean about Warrick being the only straight CSI on night shift?"

S: "Yeah."

W: "Hey…"

N: "Wait…"

C: "You forgot about Gil or something?"

S: "No, he's not straight."

C: "What?"

N: "Seriously?"

W: "You're kidding."

G: "C'mon, you haven't noticed the love/hate thing he has going with Ecklie."

S: "It's just like how me and Cat were."

G: "They just haven't worked it out yet."

C: "Eww."

W: "I didn't want to think about that."

N: "I so didn't need that image in my head."

G: "So…does that mean you aren't straight?"

N: "Ermm…yeah. I'm bi."

G: "So, would you like to go for a drink sometime?"

N: "Yeah, that'd be great."

C: "Finally."

S: "We are _good_."

C: "Oh yeah."

S: "Who should we match-make next?"

C: "Anyone as long as it's not Ecklie and Grissom."

S: "You never know, that could be challenging."

C: "You just like messing with my head."

S: "Well, you do make it so easy."

C: "I'm warning you Sidle…"

S: "What? Are you going to punish me?"

W: "Uhh, girls, we're still here."

S: "Oops"

W: "And just for the record…I wouldn't mind if you wanted to start interfering in my love life, it kinda needs a kick start."

C: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

S: "I think I am."

W: "But you don't even know if I'm interested in someone."

C: "Oh, we know."

S: "We know who too."

W: "…how?"

C: "Women's intuition"

S: "Yup."

* * *

Please review?


End file.
